What No Parent Wants to Hear: Your Child Discloses Sexual Abuse

This is the sixth post in a series on child sexual abuse.  Be sure to read the others:

• Child Sexual Abuse: When Should I Be Concerned About Behaviors
• Prevent Your Child From Being Sexually Abused
• What is Child Sexual Abuse and Who are the Perpetrators
• How Would You Know?

WHAT NO PARENT WANTS TO HEAR

If your child should disclose sexual abuse do you know what to do?  How to respond?  Here are some suggestions to keep in mind:

• Encourage your child to talk freely if he/she hints that sexual abuse has taken place.  Don’t ask leading questions.  Let them tell in their own way.  Don’t deny what they tell you or make judgements.  Remain calm and never blame or punish or embarrass the child.
• Don’t overreact.  The way you respond to his/her disclosure is critical to their ability to resolve the trauma.
• Believe him/her.  Children rarely fabricate a story like this.  Even if it has been fabricated, there may be another significant problem requiring your attention.
• Assure the child he/she is not to blame for the abuse.
• Assure the child you will make every effort to make the abuse stop.
• Report suspected or disclosed sexual abuse to Child Protective Services in your area.
• Be available to listen and offer support to you child as they may need to talk further, but be sure to respect their right to silence as well.
• Get professional help:  information, referrals, crisis intervention, and/or emotional support.  Darkness to Light can help you find resources in your area.

Source:   Parent’s Handbook (CAC)